15 Ways You’re Helping a Burglar

helping burglar

1. Coupons

Recently I put a few coupons in the gate outside your house, and hung one on the front doorknob. Since you didn’t remove them I’ve figured you’re not home too often. Therefore, I will remove the belongings in your home when I get the chance.

2. Services

I was installing a new lawn in your backyard. When I asked to use the bathroom I lifted the window just enough for it to still appear closed. That way next Saturday when you leave for Tahoe I can sneak right in and snag that television in your family room.

3. Decorative Door

You’re front door has a beautifully designed glass entry. While looking through the glass I was able to see that your alarm system was off.

4. Costumes

Last week I was in your neighborhood posing as an energy man. I had a two dollar clip board and I went to the side of your home to read the meter and see the best way to get in through the back gate.

5. Social Media

I was home watching your Twitter and Facebook accounts. I’m glad you’ll be coming back from Hawaii to an empty house. It was fun selling all your belongings online while you were away.

6. I came to your house with a vacuum

When I knocked on the door nobody answered. If someone had, I would have offered to clean to rugs; instead I cooked an egg sandwich and then stole your best jewelry.

7. Rush

I was reading the NYT in my minivan this morning when I saw you rush out of your house, and forget to see the garage door shut completely. But, your husband didn’t lock the front door anyway, so I just went in that way instead.

8. Games are fun

I drove by last week and noticed your children had as compendium of outdoor toys on the ground. I started to wonder what they must have inside. So, next week I’ll take a look and see if the PS4 interests me.

9. Spot

I’m so glad you don’t own a dog.

10. Fresh air

We are both glad that while you were baking one of your world famous blueberry pies that you left the window open. I smelt it from two blocks away and noticed that you never shut that window, ever. So, I invited myself inside last Wednesday.

11. Lights

I noticed the lights are never on in your home so I took the initiative, went inside and turned them on for you.

12. Camera

I noticed no motion sensors or cameras outside your home. Long ago I decided that movies weren’t something I wanted to star in, well, only maybe only heist flicks.

13. Alarms

50% of my friends who burglar homes have drug addictions that they need to fill. But, we tend to shy away from alarm systems even if we need to put some junk in our arms.

14. Time

I don’t need to be in your home very long. I have my own place I need to get back to quickly. I take only 8 minutes. Whatever you’ve left out for me I’ll take. Reverse Santa Claus.

15. Hiding Places

Thanks for hiding your valuables in your jewelry box, under your mattress and in your sock drawer. 

For More helpful locksmith tips read: Home Security Tip  Deadbolt Locks